This Just In: Smoking Still Cool
NEWSFLASH: SMOKING STILL COOL (AP July 30, 2007)
According to a recent study from the San Diego Council of Medicinal Pleasure, smoking remains a vital rite of youth passage. Reporting from San Diego’s venerable Comic-Con, SDCMP Council chairwoman Cheryl Hookah stated, “the smoking of cigarettes, particularly the clove variety, represents a critical period of growth for kids,” noting that goth-kids are early adopters of the necessary phenomenon.
“Eye liner and retro T-shirts are important,” Hookah explained. “But smoking is the true test of ‘cool’ among today’s youth.” Recent anti-smoking propaganda has “had an affect,” Hookah confessed, “but the really cool kids know what’s up.”
In the coming year, cool kids are expected to continue gathering and smoking en masse at comic book conventions and — between periods — outside high school gymnasiums across the country.
Note: Contributing editor Nick Naylor provided factual information for this article.